Saturday, December 27, 2008

It was, or so I thought, immortal.

For those of you who have ever spent any remote amount of time with me, you will know that I have historically been incredibly smug about my archaic cell phone.

When exchanging phone numbers with a new person, I whip out my out-dated-brick-like Nokia with pride. Then, a dewy far away look appears in their eyes as they recall with nostalgia their first mobile phone...their first text message...their first phone call...“Wow!" they say in utter awe "That was my first cell phone…I can’t believe you still have that."

Yeah, I’ve been getting that reaction for a few years now with my old Nokia. And, I’ve enjoyed it immensely.

Then I can say smugly “This phone totally rocks! It never goes dead.”
“The battery lasts, like a year!” I exaggerate.

And then I continue to talk about how my out-dated phone still functions better than the new ones.

Once just to prove how indestructible the phone is I said, “See?” as I nonchalantly and pridefully dropped the phone five feet onto some boulders. Well, the phone didn’t break or stop working buuutt…the screen did crack. That crack served as a reminder that yes, the phone was rather indestructible but still susceptible to minor damage.

Well, all this has changed. My life has changed from here on out in a drastic way. I lost my beloved phone. No clue where it is. It fell out of my pocket. Or, maybe it jumped. Perhaps it was tired of being abused by its prideful owner. Or maybe it just didn’t have the will to go on another five years. In any case, I am no longer the boss of the archaic phone.

So, yesterday, in the midst of my grief, I drummed up the energy to troop on down to the cell phone store. I demanded to the store-clerk to give me the cheapest phone.

This is what I got for $60: a sheek black Nokia with a camera, a budget planner, alarm clock, lots of fun ring tones, games and galore. It even has a color screen! I’m so thrilled! I’ve never known such thrill.

But, even still, it just won’t be the same. I have a normal trendy phone just like everyone else. I’ll miss those moments of shocking people with my old phone. But each day, it gets a little easier. It gets a little easier to figure out this new-fangled-modern-technology.

But, it’s not soo technologically advanced that I have to use sentences like: “I’ll wiki it on my blackberry and sms it to your razor.” Nope, I’m not quite up in the pinnacle of cellular technology, but much closer than I was a week ago.

Wow! Just what I wanted!

Down vests
Penut brittle
Holiday music
Toothpaste
Ibuprofen
Ham
Rice pudding
Apple cider
Carmels
Peppermint Bark
Fudge

Those are some of the words that came to mind when I reflected upon this years Christmas. Please take note—the majority of the items on the list refer to food. Yes, this year’s Christmas was one big bad food extravaganza. And, that’s the way it should be.

On Christmas Eve, we feasted on prime rib, festive tossed salad, candied yams and an array of accompanying side dishes. Then after all that, we feasted some more. We indulged in my mom’s county-wide famous tapioca fruit soup, jam bars, Jenny’s life-changing peanut brittle, rocky road bars, coconut macaroons, rice pudding, plain fudge, fudge with nuts (compliments of Inger), caramels, caramels with nuts (thanks to Karina), homemade toffee with chocolate and more.

After all that exhausting amount of food, we opened presents. But this year, the gifts were even more practical than normal thanks to the tanking economy. No, there were no ipods, wii’s, electric guitars or anything requiring a large (or even relatively large) amount of money.

Instead we faked out gratitude when we opened up a bottle of headache tablets, a tube of toothpaste, a pack of gum, a bottle of Rolaids, several hours of recorded TV on VHS from ten years ago, or a package of pens from the dollar store. Yes, we enjoyed the appearance of a large amount of gifts, but the gifts were, on a whole, rather practical and cheap. People actually went the trouble of wrapping up a tube of toothpaste and calling it a present.

And, I’m all for that. I hate buying necessary items. I would much rather have them given to me in the form of a present. After all, the point of Christmas should not be the presents; it should be the food. Yum.

(Okay, okay. I know what you’re thinking… “Um, isn’t the point of Christmas spending time with your love ones?” Fine, you’re right.)