Wednesday, August 29, 2018

The Inconvenience of Convenience

I ponder at how small the world has become through the most innovative invention: the jet. I recently flew to San Francisco in mere matter of about an hour and 45 minutes. An astonishing feat considering it would take me 15 hours by car, or several months on foot. Or several decades by hitchhiking. (Nobody picks up hitchhikers anymore. It's very disappointing). The airplane is the most convenient means of traveling long distances. 

Once the airplane delivered me to the SFO airport, I excitedly ran through the place in great anticipation of seeing a dear friend whom I had not seen for a while. After a whirlwind of socializing my trip was over. Far too soon. And so, I was deposited at the airport yet again to return to where I had come. 

I passed through security in about fifteen minutes. Now, the reason for the delay in security was the fact that a family in front of me, with three kids, had seemingly never gone through security. They required detailed instructions and re-instructions as to what to do with their bags, belts, laptops, iPads, cell phones, liquids, gels, drones, headphones, jewelry, shoes, sweatshirts, and apparently mental issues rooted in childhood too. This family held up the line with their incompetence. I was getting impatient and my arm was getting tired holding my poorly packed pack. The woman in front of me looked at me and we had a moment of shared irritation. How dare they inconvenience us. We are clearly important people who have somewhere to go see and to be seen ourselves. (Obvs). 

Fiiiinally, upon successful completion of security I then went over to check my departing flight. I studied the screen until I found my flight. Next to my flight there was a notation saying that instead of leaving at 7:30 PM, my United flight had now been changed to leave at 10 PM. 10 PM!  “Ugh” I thought, “This is why I fly Alaska. This would Never happen on Alaska!” (Cheap plug for Alaska airlines here). 

How unjust for me to be inconvenienced! I already was delayed in the security line by a massive, endless, unbearable, five minutes. Now you may not know this about me but I happen deserve a life completely and devoid of irritants. I really do. I don’t deserve to be stuck in traffic. Or to have flights delayed. You see, I am a princess who is entitled to strut through life easily without ever ever being inconvenienced. In frustration, I furrowed my eyebrows, huffed, clenched my fist and stamped my foot like an indignant three year old. (I am really pretty convincing at being an indignant three year old due to my unbelievably low level of maturity). But, it was at that moment when I was given the ability to check my privilege. I have the great privilege to even have an opinion about airlines. 

Many, dare I say most world citizens don't have the privilege to form opinions about airlines. Flying is beyond the realm of their dreams. Like, they're aware people fly in airplanes, but it's not anybody that they know. When I came to that realization, I gave myself a much warranted lecture. (I find that one effectively changes people by yelling and giving lectures. It's a very effective communication strategy). (That was a joke). I told myself, "You bratty little brat! Nobody likes a brat. Seriously, nobody likes you and nobody ever will unless you grow up and change literally every thing about you, okay?" I then added "Dumbass!" for dramatic effect. I felt defeated and humbled by my own self-lecture. And so, in my defeat, I heaved a long dreary sigh as I sat down in a chair. It was going to be a long several hours. And, my kindle wasn't charged. And, I had forgotten my laptop at home as I had left the house in such a fluster. So, I got out my phone and wrote this. 

The thing is - we’re gonna be inconvenienced in this life. And while it is devastating to the more immature of us (i.e. moi) - dude, get over it. We should be surprised when things do go according to plan sans inconveniences. Because guess what? Air travel is actually amazing. It really is. Even if flights are delayed. 

Eventually my flight boarded and took off. There we all were at 34,000 feet up, eating pretzels, and breathing recycled air. The weighty pressurized tube somehow charged across the sky at 500 miles per hour by some scientific phenomenon I don't have the brain power to comprehend. The plane unceremoniously landed with no fanfare and deposited the pasty tired travelers. Pasty, tired, privileged travelers who conveniently were transported a great distance in just one hour and 30 minutes.