I know, that at times, I can be a difficult person.
Let me illustrate this announcement by giving an example.
My cell phone.
When it rings, I get annoyed and want to throw it at the wall. It is an inturruption. I moan loudly and immaturely make my annoyance known. When my phone doesn't ring, I also get irritated. No one calls me. Poor neglected, victimized me; i have no friends--no one cares about me, boo hoo. So really, I can't be pleased. My phone rings--I get irritated. My phone doesn't ring--I become hopelessly depressed.
Now, I have re-realized this aspect of my personality upon arriving back in my home country after a month of sashaying through Guatemala.
Whilst in Guatemala, I complained every moment I could. The food made me sick. The water wasn't clean enough for me to drink it strait from the faucet. The streets had too much garbage in it. The lake was too rough in the afternoon. I had to worry about thugs and getting robbed. The roads weren't strait. I was constantly green from carsickness. That town smelled like car exhaust. And the list goes on. So, you would think I would be thrilled to be back in a western society where there is clean water right? Right. But, er, no.
At first, I was quite happy. Oh the thrills of a hot shower and not being forced to speak spanish all day. But, now that things have returned to normal I am quite bored. It's boring here. Instead of sitting in the Bagel Barn in with a bunch of interesting ragged backpackers, looking out onto the rainy streets of Antigua, I am in Portland. There are no cool backpackers to chat with the the streets are boring looking.
It's not exciting having everything spotlessly clean and vacuumed wrapped. Where's the adventure in that?
Not to mention the extreme coldness. I wore my snow jacket today! Instead of wearing a itsy-bitsy-teeny-tiny-blue tank top, I am bundled up in my frumpy green jacket. How lame!
Once again, I have realized that I am complicated. I am not happy when my phone rings, nor am I happy when, on the rare occasion, it rings. I am not happy when travelling, nor am I happy to be home. Perhaps I suffer from some sort of restlessness-simply-cannot-be-pleased-syndrome. Do you?
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2 comments:
Love it. I tend to be that way in certain other areas. Part of it has to do with an overall life satisfaction and those little things aren't so fickle.
You, my dear, are the only one who can make you happy in the end. I totally understand what you are getting at. But, you also have to find your own happiness, don't wait for it to come to you! All situations are what you make of it and I think your state of mind is key when trying to snap out of a funk.
On another note, I'm home on Dec.11 and back to Portland soon after. We will find some uber-fun places that are oh-so-hot. hahaa, get it, hot so you are aren't cold.
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