A Ninny Admits

I don’t go around proclaiming to be some sort of scatterbrained person. Although I am a slob at heart, I am not scatterbrained. I have this ability to remember that under a giant pile of clothes in my room, there lies a purple hair elastic that I plan on using. I also know that in a suitcase in my closet there is a bag of vitamins that my mom gave me a few years ago, and I know they’re still there. In a certain book on my bookshelf there is an a worksheet on the rules of the Spanish subjunctive verb conjugation - that’s where it is, in case I ever need it. Thus, I’m not generally a list-maker or very organized. It’s all a jumble that none but I can understand.

But this week, I had an occasion where my ability to remember things failed me. And I’m starting to question my highly advanced and efficient system of organization. Or maybe I have dementia.

I park Bike all around town. Sometimes tied to a lamppost, sometimes parked in the bike parking lot of the building I reside in, and sometimes harnessed to a fence near a friend’s house. I generally remember what random place I put it. But this week, I mis-parked my bike and then I assumed some nitwit must have come along and managed to steal it. Instead of facing up to the fact that I have a minor case of dementia, I foamed at the mouth in a rage shaking my fist whilst simultaneously saying less than complimentary things about the lowlife who took my bike. But er, after that, I remembered that I tied Bike up to a lamppost and not diligently in the bike parking lot in the basement of the building. So, I took back all the less than complimentary things I said to the imaginary villain who did not take my bike. And I went and retrieved Bike who had so patiently waited for me whilst cruelly shackled to the lamppost. .

So, I learned two super highly important life lessons from these situations.

1. Don’t just assume someone stole your bike.
2. You’re the nitwit, not them.

Number one is pretty important, but I think number two is the more important. Often times, we blame others or something else when really we ought to blame ourselves. Luckily for me, I blamed an imaginary person instead of going around accusing people of stealing my bike and calling them blockheads or something. At least I didn’t have to go back with abject apology.

But, I am reminded of some occasions where we don’t remember that we are the nitwits.

I remember my six year old cousin attempting to operate a ipod (not a good idea) and she was flipping through it and frustratingly exclaiming “it won’t do that!!!” We’re not actaully sure what she wanted the ipod to do, as she could not yet read. Nonetheless, she just didn’t know how to operate an ipod. She was the nitwit, not the ipod.

I had horses when I was a large child and I remember several occasions when the horse did not listen to what I told him to do. Well, it wasn’t the poor horse. I just didn’t know how to tell the horse what to do. I was the nitwit, not the horse.

So, before you go around blaming others, or blaming technology for your lack of knowledge or for the malfunction of your memory, remember this: You’re the nitwit