Monday, January 9, 2012

A Sure Way to Vicarious and Riotous Living

New obsessions come and go for me. Right now I’ve decided to go onto this crazy diet called “The Caveman Diet” which consists of gnawing on large hunks of meat, vegetables, fruit, nuts, eggs and uh, yeah, that’s about it. But I shall not regale you with tales of my new eating plan. (although I have been prancing around in a leopard print loin cloth whilst grunting). No, I shall regale you with my new obsession. But first, I must start from the beginning.

I have never been much of a homebody, domestic goddess or homey person. My aunt once told me she could see me traveling about and then coming home to live in a small box somewhere under some stairs whilst I save up for my next big adventure. And I would be more than content. However, all future travel plans have been suspended. Thus, I’ve become something of a domestic goddess due to circumstances. And, I can prove it ‘cuz I have a checkered apron and I have to pay an electric bill. Bonjour real world!

So, in my new life, I’ve been making attempts to be all homey, since I’m no longer living in a cardboard box, and I’ve rediscovered the true art of happiness. It comes in only one form – candles.

Yup. (that was a smug “yup” by the way).

I’ve never much thought about buying frivolous things such as candles – I try to keep it to the essentials (food, tea, warm socks). But, I found myself perusing the candle aisle at Target a few weeks ago when it struck me “I. Am. Going. To. Buy. A. Candle.” So I did, I tried one and I felt exactly like I was in Bali – I’ve never been there – but the candle was called Bali I’m pretty sure that’s what it must feel like to be there. Last week I bought a second one. I’m burning it all the time. All I can think about is buying more candles. When can I get to my candle dealer to get me more...and more…and more!!! I can’t seem to stop. I’m addicted. I need to go to CA—Candles Anonymous.

Bah! No need to travel. Just get a candle bozo!