Sunday, July 13, 2014

Dogs and Crooks

There are people out there who know me personally and have had ample time to observe my strange psychology. These "so-called people," have probably even come to a dubious conclusion about my character. But before you people start saying all manner of nonsense about who I am. Let me, at the very least, defend myself! There is one thing I most certainly am not: an axe murderer. Yes, go tell it on the mountain. I am not a a dangerous villain to be dealt with carefully. I am simply a quiet unassuming caucasian female. (And Regis Philban fan). So, now you're probably wondering where all this paranoia of mine is coming from. Why am I defending my character so fervently? Where did I get such ideas that people think I'm dangerous?

Well, it's not people. It's actually animals.

I was walking down the street, in a most unassuming way, when a cute dog on a leash stopped walking and slinked back to the side of the sidewalk as I merrily passed by. The owner then told the canine "It's okay. She won't hurt you."

Of all the nerve! Of course I won't hurt the dog. Why must the owner assure this canine that he is in fact safe in my presence? I love dogs! My middle name is Dog! (Okay, I may be exaggerating). The only thing I might be tempted to do to the canine is reach down and give it a good scratch. I am very talented when it comes to scratching canines on their rump and ears. Actually, it's a violation of animal rights for me to let that talent do to waste.

At such an offensive comment, I found myself quite cross. "I'm a nice girl. I'm so approachable! What's the big idea?!" I defensively thought to myself. I then considered glowering at the animal but then I realized that I would give the animal something to fear. So, I decided against it. I decided not to let this minute misunderstanding bother me.

Next time I see a dog that fears me, I am going to give it a reassuring smile and talk to it in a breathy and soothing voice. And, I'm not going to take things so personally.

So remember, don't let silly things bother you. Even if someone (or some animal) gives you the wrong look or says the wrong thing. Well, it's all probably just a misunderstanding. It doesn't mean you're a crook, okay?