Sunday, November 21, 2010

Prandial Jocundity in the Afternoon

The pre-holiday season has settled upon this great modern city.

Today I experienced what some experts might call "holiday cheer." I shall recapitulate now, so if you want to know on!

I went down to the bakery in search of sweet prandial delight, like figgy pudding or a pain' au' chocolate. But when I arrived, I was so overwhelmed with the pastry potpourri that I simply did not know what to do. So, I stood there completely dumbfounded until the attendant gaily approached me and inquired of my desire. I just continued staring at all the heavenly treats thinking that maybe I'd get fifteen pastries and take several bits out of all of them and then consequently get myself into a sickly stupor. But then the attendant asked me if I needed a recommendation, which was godsend, because it is not advised to be eating several bites of 15 pastries.

So, he happily recommended to me the mint chocolate chip cookie. I immediately agreed with his suggestion and went to pay for my treat. He asked if I wanted something to drink so I said "a coffee please."

Okay, this is the climax of my tale.

He said, "That will be $1.69, no charge for the coffee."
me: "no charge for the coffee?"
him: "nope, not today."
me: "Man, this is my lucky day."
him: "I hope it really is your lucky day!"
me: "I feel very validated"
him: "hahaha"
me: "HA! HAHA!"
me again: "well, bye"
him: "bye"

I gave him a real jocund smile and then I doctored up my FREE coffee whilst looking at it affectionately (like I always do).

I pranced out of the store full of pre-holiday cheer, validated feelings, and a hot cup of coffee.

What's the point on this nonsense?

The point is to spread holiday cheer (you big buffoon)! Instead of saying "Oh poppycock!" or "Humbug!" this season, I urge you to give away free coffee and what you will get in return in a happy smile (like the ones pictured above, that happy couple has probably gotten word that there is free coffee at whatever event they're at).

YOU have the power to change the world.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Whimsey's of Littering

I did a very quaint thing today - I read the news. I came upon an article about Naples and their garbage problem. Apparently the whole city is up in arms and there is a garbage strike and rubbish is everywhere. Now, you may think this is surprising, but as a former news-reader, it really isn’t.

About two years ago I read an article about Naples garbage problem. The landfill was full and they have nowhere to put their waste. And then the financial crisis hit and Hurricane Agatha and well, we all forgot about the garbage issue there. But now, it reemerges with gusto. And we’re back to point A!

You might think garbage strikes sound quite exotic and romantic. Oh garbage strikes...sigh...some people get it all...You probably imagine feisty protesters and the freedom to litter till the cows come home. You might imagine the how joyful it would be to kick an empty yogurt container along the sidewalk as you enjoy a stroll. Oh the bliss of garbage romantic.

Well, I’m sorry, I’ve got to correct this misconception. I’m one of those people who got to deal with a garbage strike at one point in my life and let me tell you, they're not all they're cracked up to be.

Actually, they’re unromantic. They smell. Everyone is cross. They cause traffic jams. They even cause pedestrian jams because pedestrians also have to maneuver around the mounds of garbage. Not only that, but there are flies and bugs and rats. They cause respiratory infections and aid in the spread of disease.

We’re all cross enough as it is without the misfortune of a garbage strike. So, remember, toss your rubbish in a bin and be thankful that there is a nice garbage can waiting for your peanut shells and banana peels. And then smile nicely at the garbage man and tell him "thanks!"