Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Having Greatness Thrust Upon Oneself

I recently encountered a new situation in which my lack of abilities failed to do much of anything. This is very usual for me.

A few nights ago, I was driving in my automobile and I noticed that it just felt strange, almost as if I were driving along some bumpy railroad tracks. So, after I put my car to sleep in his parking space, I inspected all of the tires to see if perhaps I had a flat. Well, it was dark, but my optic nerve did not detect any problems, so I sashayed on home with thoughts of food on my mind.

Well, today I approached my dear car and noticed something very startling, the previous night, I had been semi-hallucinogenic. When I had decided nothing was amiss, I was dead wrong - something was quite amiss. The tire had indeed deflated. Upon closer inspection, I realized I of course managed to run over something black and poky. So, I ran through all my options in my head as to how to get around with a flat tire. Could I drive on the freeway with a significantly deflated tire? I thought not. I wondered about the bus. I knew I could hop on the 96. But then, I put in my Rosie the Rivitor attitude and said "I'm going to change this flat If It's The Last Thing I Do!" And then I pounded my chest and yodeled loudly.

I imagined myself as a true Rosie, with my red bandanna, my big biceps (which really are something to look upon with complete adoration [big exaggeration]), and my blue mechanic jump suit (I've really got to get one of those - very stylish).

I unpacked my spare tire and looked at all the pieces confoundedly. Confidently, I began to follow the easy instructions. Put car in park. Put on emergency break. Blah. Blah. Blah. I looked closely at the picture and it did not appear that I had all the pieces and the clock was ticking (I had to eventually be at work). "Ah, what a great excuse to give up!" I thought happily to myself.

So, I did a very un-Rosy thing, I put the whole lot away and sat down and pouted. The thing was, time was ticking and I really had to scuttle away to work. So, I gave it all up and called a cab, which incidentally turned out to be great fun. I had a very friendly cab driver who gave me lots of attention and asked me all sorts of questions about what exactly it is that I do for work. In the end, I felt quite validated even as I handed pots of cash over to the cabbie.

The adventure for tomorrows schedule remains the same - figure out what I'm going to do about my flat tire.

What I Learned: I can't do it. Give up. Stop believing in myself.

(Okay, really, I could have done it, I just lacked any drop of motivation to really get down to business and in the end, it cost me a $25 cab fare).


Carolyn said...

Great story! (If you have towing on your insurance, any tow truck company will come fix it for free).

teafortwo said...

well, actually, as it turns out, I'm not a total ditz. I really and truly most certainly did not have a wrench! So then I called up Les Schwab and some guy came and helped this damsel in distress. And they patched up my tire for $42.50!

Gretchen said...

liss i love your liberal use of the word "sashay".

teafortwo said...

You have a point, people should use it more. It's quite troubling that it's not a more popular word.