The Novelty of Cutlery

Cutlery, Silverware, Farberware…Call it what you want, but there is no mistaking that it’s a fabulous invention.

Cutlery: It may seem trite, but it’s nothing to take for granted. Some people eat with their fingers. Now this is a very efficient and practical way to eat. However, one has to be careful to keep one of their hands clean, so they always have a nice sanitary hand for the task of eating. That’s the downside.

And then animals just use their mouth and tongue for the action of eating. This method is very cheap and it eliminates all costs of goods expenses. However, side affects for humans include chronic sloppiness, social awkwardness and general weirdness. So please, consider the cons.

But, let’ explore the method of using cutlery for our duty of eating. I get the privilege of using a fork and knife (and chopsticks if I am feeling especially adventurous). It’s quite nice not to have to spread cream cheese by means of my finger. Not only that, but were I to eat a steak, I would definitely utilize a fork and knife, it’s much more pleasing than the other option—picking up the steak the way one does a sandwich, and sinking my teeth into it. That would be weird— ‘tis not how I was reared!

And, that is why I am thankful for cutlery. Just imagine what means we would have to employ if we did not have it.

So, to Mr. I-invented-the-fork, I humbly say “thank you.”

Camels are Pets Too

Camels are the coolest animals.
• They can survive on thorns and dry grasses.
• They can drink 95 liters of water in ten minutes.
• They have this uncanny memory for where desert water holes are.
• They store fat in their humps as a reserve against scarcity.
• They don’t really go to the bathroom that often, or lose water through sweat.

All of this enables them to plod across vast deserts without food or water for days on end.

So, when you’re watching a movie about Arabia and you see someone walking across the desert at dusk with their robes blowing in the sandy wind and you’re thinking “Wow that Bedouin is pretty neat,”or “Nomadic people are so exotic. Neato burrito!” Well, they couldn’t be nomadic or exotic without their pet camel.

What I am trying to teach you all is this: don’t take camels for granted!

Wow! Just what I wanted!

Down vests
Penut brittle
Holiday music
Toothpaste
Ibuprofen
Ham
Rice pudding
Apple cider
Carmels
Peppermint Bark
Fudge

Those are some of the words that came to mind when I reflected upon this years Christmas. Please take note—the majority of the items on the list refer to food. Yes, this year’s Christmas was one big bad food extravaganza. And, that’s the way it should be.

On Christmas Eve, we feasted on prime rib, festive tossed salad, candied yams and an array of accompanying side dishes. Then after all that, we feasted some more. We indulged in my mom’s county-wide famous tapioca fruit soup, jam bars, Jenny’s life-changing peanut brittle, rocky road bars, coconut macaroons, rice pudding, plain fudge, fudge with nuts (compliments of Inger), caramels, caramels with nuts (thanks to Karina), homemade toffee with chocolate and more.

After all that exhausting amount of food, we opened presents. But this year, the gifts were even more practical than normal thanks to the tanking economy. No, there were no ipods, wii’s, electric guitars or anything requiring a large (or even relatively large) amount of money.

Instead we faked out gratitude when we opened up a bottle of headache tablets, a tube of toothpaste, a pack of gum, a bottle of Rolaids, several hours of recorded TV on VHS from ten years ago, or a package of pens from the dollar store. Yes, we enjoyed the appearance of a large amount of gifts, but the gifts were, on a whole, rather practical and cheap. People actually went the trouble of wrapping up a tube of toothpaste and calling it a present.

And, I’m all for that. I hate buying necessary items. I would much rather have them given to me in the form of a present. After all, the point of Christmas should not be the presents; it should be the food. Yum.

(Okay, okay. I know what you’re thinking… “Um, isn’t the point of Christmas spending time with your love ones?” Fine, you’re right.)